What is difficult is trying to hold back from going back to the doorstep of your fake saviors for the sake of your respect, your self-worth, and your ego. Those who once upon a time kept telling you that they'll always be there for you no matter what. But my dear readers let me take you on a ride of a reality check. Shall not we end our delusions now and taste the bitterness of reality together?

Well, I guess, we Should.

I strongly believe that no human can save one from his disasters and miseries, Everyone has to save himself on his own. Don't worry just like you I also have that, unreal desire hidden somewhere in my heart to be saved by a messiah. But Alas, I am too tired of these delusions and expectations that I am willing to hurt those innocent wishes.

A few days ago, I lost a beloved person. Although that wasn't new to me, still it destroyed my emotional health and mental sanity. I felt like losing shelter of my head in front of my eyes in a real sense. I was so deprived of emotional support at that time that I've never felt so much pain in my heart and soul altogether.

But there was nobody available for me and if some people were I probably became so difficult for them to handle that they gave up. All those rainbows and promises faded. There is also this possibility that I might have become too critical and toxic after that emotional loss that I, 'm trying to blame others for it. But I honestly don't care. Because I've been through hell despite all those people's presence.

People keep promising things they can not do. So my dear don't take them seriously. Your traumas are probably too much for them.  And don't keep a grudge against them in your heart. I mean yes, you can shout at them in alone time. But when you finally recover from it forgive and forget them. They are not mentally capable of handling you in that situation. You have to heal yourself alone. Well, that's a journey to hell too but it's another story.

When you are alone, screaming in pain,  exhausted, in need of them to come, console you, ease you, they'll not be here. You have to wipe your tears with your own hands. And that's good. That will make you strong and spare me of the bull**** "I needed to be protected, not strong. I know it will hurt as hell. But isn't it better to get hurt once badly and get strong? And able to not rely on anybody anymore? Yes, it is.

In the end, after days when you have recovered, they'll come back. I told ya, it's not that they are bad, they are just incompetent in handling you. Now you have to reject them. You don't need to teach them how to treat you. Their incompetency has hurt you and it will again hurt you if you let them come back again. So now self-worth demands you to reject them and keep living on your own even if it means staying alone.

May this journey become fruitful for you and a little easy too. Because of it's not gonna be full easy or energetic or something.

See you again.